Sometimes, people thinking, “I don’t want my child to live with me anymore” don’t necessarily want to terminate their parental rights — but they do wish for a break from parenting to better their situation. Oh my to have an x that shares in the responsibility of bringing up the children would be a dream. As a parent you ARE responsible for your child until they turn 18. When you least expect it he will come along, all you need to remember is this child isn't going to hurt you like you've been hurt...maybe do small activities with your little boy and build up a stronger bond from where I'm sitting you have trust issues but with your son it's different than any man. From a woman who has been through a lot to and has PTSD like the other person said I think you have this to and finding your feelings can be hard..it doesn't feel like the medication helps and I said that for years but after giving them chance it started helping a hit..it takes time over a month. I won’t feed you some bullshit like it’s all going to be OK with time because it may not be, and it may not turn out as you wish, but you will never know if you don’t stick around to find out. Obviously it was at times really difficult and I used to have really bad days, but there was always something to enjoy, and the good always seemed to outweigh the bad. My daughter-in-law’s parents live three hours away. I used to be a very happy and positive person. I think I did it because I wanted a lifeline. I really don't think anyone would admit this... but I believe there is a root cause. My sons are 6ft boys and I dread to think what damage they could do to me if they ever hit me. ... Now, if you were ten and he was 39, that would be a big problem. THE GUILT IS 24/7, I am trying so hard but I am exhausted now and I am sick of her treating us all like utter crap all of the time. I know that sounds so awful but that is how I feel. At least you have succeeded in the job and home part. I know it would never happen though because I couldn't live with the shame of it. Could that be your next step to discuss whether she is safe to be at home and raise your concerns again for her? I receive constant abusive from him even when I think I have managed block him in every form possible he still manages. Do you think there are any genetic traits about your son that remind you of your abuser? Hopefully their door will open and when it does, bite your tongue and listen with an open mind and heart. I now am isolated and depressed. Loraine x, I think you're suffering from PTSD. I like you give my kids everything I can. If the court finds that it is best for your child to live with you for some or all of the time, even if the child does not want that, the court may decide to order that the child live … You don't want to be on your own and that's understandable but aye it's better to be on your own than be with a *** h*le you deserve better and one day your Mr right is going to come along and love both you and your son for you and we won't be like the other and although he will help you heal somewhat. My husband is not really very helpful but he tries to be supportive to me. How do I fix this? If you don't want or can no longer meet your responsibilities call child services and discuss what options there are for your child. By taking responsibility for your emotions and making an effort, you’re showing your child that you want things to be better. When children live with their dads, people automatically assume the mother is a terrible person. You need to do this not only for you for your son because to him you are the most important person in the world so yes...someone does love you and that love won't ever end like a relationship can. Have you been back to your GP to discuss your concerns over her suicidal thoughts? You need to be a little kinder to yourself and by accessing the help you deserve, you can start to feel alive and enjoy being a mum again. I obviously have done a crap job of parenting her because now she is suicidal. My life is hell daily. I have tried every parenting tip in the book, form nice to cross. You don't want to be on your own and that's understandable but aye it's better to be on your own than be with a *** h*le you deserve better and one day your Mr right is going to come along and love both you and your son for you and we won't be like the other and although he will help you heal somewhat. I’d suggest you spend more time with your son as mine grew up and time was lost. I left him and built an amazing life, beautiful home in the country, good job, book holidays, go out, provide everything my son could ever need but yet I can't provide him with love anymore, I have felt this way for about 4 months. Understanding that you don’t have to be your child’s friend can help you come to terms with who your child is–and accept them. Please do call social services for help and don't let them fob you off. We learnt lots of mind body things on the course and I benefitted from them all, but mindfulness was kind of a recentering of yourself and a way to live happy in the moment. Be empathetic and set an example. There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child and I really believe that everyone needs help. See the GP about depression if that is the case and take some proper treatment. No one bats an eyelid when they do. I wish I could work 12 hours/day, 7 days a week and come home and snuggle them for 15 minutes at bedtime. Clubs etc is no place to meet a nice good man in my opinion it's unlikely. Someone who genuinely didn't care for someone wouldn't do all these things. I cry all of the time. I hope you can find some support that will help you. You say you don't let your son know, but he will feel it and may try and get attention whether good or bad attention, as some is better than none. Learning positive parenting techniques might help. Anyway, like you I am sitting here with tears running down my face at what I am about to say, but i don't want my children anymore. The birth was a traumatic C-Section, the pain relief didn't work properly and I could feel the surgeons hands inside me and they had to put me under general anaesthetic. There is the saying that the devil makes work for idle hands. For further help offline, visit our guide to. However, the child’s preferences are just one factor the court looks at. If you break no one else will help your … Many of the other posts on here about others who are struggling to get any enjoyment out of being a mum, seem to be coming from women who are the mothers of babies, where it can usually be linked to post natal depression. My daughter is 3 and doesn't listen to me or do anything I ask. The noise level in the house can be reduced. i don't want to live with my parents PLEASE HELP ME. I often feel like I can't make it until my little one's bed time and put her down early (thankfully she goes down well like yours), I can hear myself shouting silently in my head for her to shut up and go away and it can make you feel horrible. I don't want to ask anymore to speak to my granddaughters, only to have no response. Your son sounds a good lad and i hope you recover from this and are able to trust again, it wont be easy but you will im sure when you have healed. i want to live my life and be free, he is holding me back. I do know how you feel being abused by a cheating liar. ago now my mother ( now 65 yrs.) It was always obvious that she was different but it took a lot of fighting with GPs to be referred for a diagnosis. 4. I want you to live. I love spending time with you, but I’m not a clingy person. You do not need to put up with beatings and no decent person would expect you to live in fear in your own home. I don't want to live here anymore :(I'm 14 now and my mum and dad have been divorced for just over 3 and a half years. These were on Ritalin for their condition and were coming off it for a couple of days a week after practicing the mindfulness meditation and sitll maintaining good behaviour at school. Of course we are not married so I don't feel obligated to say yes. He was upset and made at me. I take the pills but all the pills in the world can't fix this. You have been severely abused and this has lead to you not loving yourself which is being projected onto your son as the cause. His aunt is a very opinionated woman. I had my first daughter (I was irresponsible and it was not a planned pregnancy) by an abusive drug addict who I was stuck in a relationship with because he would trap me inside and threaten me. He has started to have serious melt downs, and is very violent with me nearly all day every day. I too was in an abusive relationship for many years, to many to count. I suppose I'm just looking to see if anyone else has every felt anything similar, otherwise I must just be a terrible person :(. I'm Katie, one of the parent supporters here. You guys come in a variety of packaging. Could you make an appointment to see your GP this week? Obviously I can't talk to anyone about any of these feelings because they would automatically judge me and assume the worst. 2 F. ForeverSpring Well-Known Member. You are welcome to come back and keep talking here too, we are listening. Have quiet times and a reward sticker for keeping it quiet for 20 minutes. Aw this is sad to read. I have been separated from him for just over a year now. The fact that you hide the feelings of resentment shows this! Maybe get some help to solve the behavioural problem and you will find the relationship get better!?! She is like her biological dad, manipulative, aggressive and devoid of empathy. A trace that makes your brain which is now hard wired to feel off balance. From a woman who has been through a lot to and has PTSD like the other person said I think you have this to and finding your feelings can be hard..it doesn't feel like the medication helps and I said that for years but after giving them chance it started helping a hit..it takes time over a month. Sending you a warm hug this morning, I can hear that you are feeling completely and utterly exhausted and at the end of your tether :sadhug I'm juggling so many plates and trying to do my best. 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